Couples Therapy
in-person therapy for Couples in Des Moines, Washington
Even the strongest love can feel strained when couples are caught in painful cycles that cause disconnection or are negatively influenced by unhealed pain.
Long-term relationships require us to address some of the hardest things in our lives, including trauma, betrayal, emotional immaturity, inequality and unmet needs. By the time a couple is seeking counseling, they have often worked so hard to communicate and problem-solve their way back to connection and partnership that they feel hopeless.
However, hope is never lost if values and vision are shared.
In couples counseling partners learn to embrace their emotions, enhance communication, repair hurt, and deepen intimacy. By committing to actions that align with your shared values, you and your partner can rebuild a resilient and loving relationship.
I aim to help couples create an equitable partnership by recognizing and valuing each partner’s experiences and contributions. By promoting equality and shared decision-making, couples are able to build a secure and authentic relationship.
Are we a fit?
As with any relationship, compatibility between a therapist and client is so important. I’m not the right fit for everyone and that’s okay! If you’re still on the fence, take a look below and let me help you decide.
Probably, if You...
- Are genuinely interested in a better relationship
- Are willing to work on changing your own behavior, not just hoping to change your partner
- Can maintain physically safe behavior during sessions
- Are willing to attend in-person sessions in Des Moines, WA.
- Are able to pay out-of-pocket for services
Probably Not, if You...
- Are looking for someone to validate that your partner is THE problem
- Do not think you have contributed in any way to the dynamics of your relationship
- Are engaging in violence against your partner
- Cannot reliably attend in-person appointments at least once a month
- Need insurance coverage to afford therapy
The Process
STEP ONE
First, let’s chat for a few minutes by phone or video to answer any questions and make sure we’re a fit.
STEP TWO
Then, you can schedule a regular weekly or biweekly session time to help you make this work a priority.
STEP THREE
I will send you all paperwork by email, including an intake assessment to help get us started.
Frequently
Asked
Questions
Why don’t you take insurance for couples counseling?
Insurance doesn’t actually cover couples/family counseling. It covers treatment of an individual with a diagnosable disorder with family present. That means that therapy should be aimed at one partner’s disordered behavior and how this is impacting their family members. I believe that this is counterproductive to true relationship counseling.
Does being a feminist counselor mean that you always side with female partners?
Nope! Feminist counseling is based on the perspective that societal forces have a role to play in our behavioral health and must be addressed to reach true health. Gender-based expectations and limitations affect people of all genders and are frequently present in relationships. By clarifying how our identities influence how we experience the world, we understand, empathize and connect better.
Why do couples sessions have to be in person?
The most powerful element in relationship counseling is emotional attunement. Sitting down together helps to promote this attunement and ensure that each person is fully present and participatory.
Can you see someone both individually and in couples?
No. In any kind of therapy, the emotional safety of the therapeutic relationship is essential for the client or clients to be vulnerable and work through painful things. Even the perception of bias could undermine emotional safety.
What should we expect in couples counseling?
It’s just a conversation. You can’t win or lose at couples counseling and the goal is not to identify who is to blame. I do not believe that simply validating feelings is enough to change unhealthy behavior patterns so be prepared to hear some hard things and do some hard things. My couches are soft, I have throw pillows and blankets, there’s a Keurig and I keep snacks around (just in case). I hope that you ultimately view our sessions as a place where you can be safely vulnerable and build the kind of connection with your partner that brings meaning and joy to your life.